In a new series of reviews, Kitsch Dave & jobbing wine critic Jilly Goolden discuss the month’s music in their own inevitable way…

Jilly: So, who are we looking at today then?
Dave: This month it’s “Steve Gilmore” and his “New Year Gift For You” E.P.
J: Ooo! What are they called? I want names…
D: Well, there’s four tracks on offer: “Wake Me, Shake Me”, “Gangster Slang”, “Are You Even There?” & “United States Of Mind”. Plenty then to get our teeth into.
J: This is going to be fun. Pass me the Blue Nun.
D: Ok, first up is “Wake Me, Shake Me”. Sounds like you after a night on the town…
J: Oi! Those days are gone. I’s a good girl now!
D: Yeah, right! Anyhow, Steve describes this track as the real deal in hip-hop. It’s a nice piano driven track with a solid beat that doesn’t get in your face. The interplay of the male and female vocals is particularly impressive. Reminds me of The Stereo MCs!
J: Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm… That Sax is a nice touch. I really wasn’t expecting that to come in and it gives the track a really warm feeling. On the whole, it’s a nice production. Quite restrained in a way.
D: Yeah, he’s been doing a few like this recently. I wasn’t too sure about them at first, but they really do grow on you after a few listens

J: What’s this Gangster Slang one like?
D: Steve says it’s more Hip Hop. The second part of his musical answer to the question posed by the continuing use of violent attitude in many hip hop/gangsta tracks.
J: Again, it’s quite chilled. More Sax again, with just a splattering of keys on top of the beats.
D: There are some really funky guitars in this one, which I like. I’m a sucker for a funky Strat.
J: I can’t believe how loose this one feels. It seems as if the whole track will fall apart at any moment, then all of a sudden it pulls it’s self together again. Very clever.

D: Next up we’ve got “Are You Even There?”. I love the title of this one!
J: That’s all well and good, but this is a music review column, not the bloody Booker Prize. What do you think of the music?
D: It’s quite chilled – like most of these tracks on offer. The bass line is fabulous! Funky and dubby, whilst still being laid back.
J: So laid back it’s practically lying down!
D: Yeah! And you’d know all about spending your life on your back… But it’s got Steve’s trademark soundscape of vocal snippets – or vocalscape if you will! The vocals actually sound like This Mortal Coils version of Drugs. Who sang on that one?
J: Buggered if I know. Ooo, is that a bottle of Black Tower over there?
D: Hmmm. Anyhow. This could almost be The Thievery Corporation. That mix of Lounge and Dub.
J: This is smoker’s music, know what I mean? (Emits a shrill dirty laugh).

D: Whatever (rolls eyes). Last, but not least, the final one on offer is “United States Of Mind”.
J: Oooo. I like this. It’s very funky!
D: Yeah, the bass line is almost hypnotic. Can’t understand a damn word of what’s being said apart from “On my radio”.
J: Drink more wine. It helps!
D: I’m sure it does Ms Goolden. Oooo! What about those pan pipes! I wasn’t expecting them.
J: (In a sudden flashback to her former glories) Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. I’m getting Incantation on holiday in Jamaica, jamming with the local sound system and a few drunken Germans singing incoherently round the pool…
D: And on that note I think we really must call it a day. Want a cab, or are you going on to a club?
J: Oh I’m clubbing it tonight darlink!
D: Nice one. Where you heading?

Add lib and fade out…

Find this music http://stage.vitaminic.co.uk/main/steve_gilmore/all_tracks/,7